Every woman is different. Some prepare for their baby months in advance with a perfect birth plan, books on what to expect, and stories from other mothers. My husband and I took a prenatal birth class and packed a hospital bag at 34 weeks. My process was different because we didn’t exactly have a long-term space yet, or baby items.

In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps. – Proverbs 16:9

My actual labor story was not how I thought it would go, and that’s okay! A lot of women do have a smooth delivery, and that is amazing. I remember in my birth plan my first underlined desire was: NO C-SECTION. I wanted a ‘natural’ birth so to speak, and I knew the recovery process was hard for something as serious as major abdominal surgery.

All I remember from my birth were the moments I was waiting to see my son; my husband’s face over mine saying he loved me and that I was doing great; me praying the Lord’s Prayer when they finally were able to unwedge baby from my pelvis, and at last: the sweetest cry I have ever heard.

Looking back on it now, in the moment, I am grateful not for the doctors or the nurses, but to be honest, my doula and husband. My doula helped me breathe through the moments of anxiety I had; my husband poured out so much love in my pregnancy and delivery story.

I try to hold back any bitterness I have for the medical system; it seemed no one wanted to listen when I was in pain from contractions, or maybe my calm disposition threw them off. (My husband did get an earful when we were driving to the hospital, though. He was driving the speed limit on the freeway, we were 15 minutes away, and I remember blacking out with each contraction and saying sharply, “This is the slowest you’ve ever f****** drove!” incoming contraction) ?

We got to the hospital safely, thanks to my husband’s safe driving, and lo and behold I was 8 cm dilated! That’s the last chance you can have an epidural, and at the time, I paused, thought I might be okay; my husband immediately said YES. ? ofc I was in agreement; I didn’t currently have a contraction going but thank goodness they gave me one after my water broke.

Contractions feel different to everyone. Some feel like electric shocks, and some have major back pain. Mine felt like really bad muscle cramps, like someone was squeezing my insides & all my pelvic areas, and I had major pressure down there.

I couldn’t even remember the suggestions our prep class said to do; there was no time, it was in the middle of the night, and we were tired.

My doula brought aromatic things and electric candles; her experience made me feel safe. Bless her.

God’s goodness

At this point, eight months past the morning our son was born, I feel happiness and acceptance of those moments. It’s an exciting time. Pain may happen, and, yes, your body will feel out of your control, but thinking back, I remember the moment I prayed was the moment I met my son.

God’s goodness and grace are always there. You might not be thinking it, in pain, I know I wasn’t when I was throwing up from nauseatingly painful contractions; but the moment you meet your little one- after all that- is the most joyful moment I can think of! This is the cause for worship in His mercy, friend. ❤️

I would have trusted God more if I could have done it all again. I wish I could have not thought that I could do it all myself; that I could have planned and processed my birth in a way that worshipped God and not my own self [from “Risen Motherhood”]

8 months later, I thank God for all that He has done and continues to do for our family. If you’re expecting, getting ready to give birth, or are postpartum— congratulations! ? Wherever you are, this is surely a celebration of your baby’s birth! And I pray for you a safe, and beautiful delivery. ❤️

Blessings,

Regine

Baby Levi; 8 months